Perez

So anybody who knows me, knows that I am completely addicted to celebrity blogger Perez Hilton. I usually start my mornings off with him (he is like my cup of coffee) and check in with him periodically through out the day. He is like a friend that I have never met or communicated with before. I know his likes and dislikes, his political views, sexual orientation, current crushes, etc. I know when he is traveling, when he is throwing a party, and after the party, who attended. I love the way he writes, his humor, and his special drawings. Like any friend, we have some tastes that are similar and some that are completely different. For instance, I mirror his feelings for Miley Cyrus. He can not stand her. I in turn, can not stand her. This can sometimes cause conflicting emotions in the Blackwood house seeing as I have a 5 year old little girl the completely idolizes her. For those who think that I am being a little harsh, let me point out some things about Ms. Cyrus:
1. She dresses like a slut. Now some may argue that most 15 year old girls dress a little slutty, but here is the difference. She is dressing for "her fans" which happen to be in the 5-9 age group. Having my daughter want to wear short dresses with knee high boots grinding on the table trying to copy her performance does not make me happy. Having to see her picture all over the place does not make me happy. She just does not make me happy.
2. She is a hypocrite. I could dedicate an entire blog about the hypocrisy of Miley Cyrus and her family but I will keep it short and to the point. In a news article I read in People Magazine (yes, I am obsessed with celebs, and no, I will not apologize for it) her mother was quoted as saying that she still gets grounded for not behaving and she only gets $300.00/month for allowance (pretty respectable considering she will soon be worth $1 billion dollars). I find this laughable as she is photographed riding a bike in Christian Louboutin Fringe Boots that retail for almost $2,000 (I may not be able to afford them, but I can spy Louboutin shoes a mile away). I don't know who came up with the brilliant plan to let some teenager ride around in these boots, but it pisses me off. If she were my daughter, I would have made her donate them to charity if she received them as a gift (or just wear them if they were my size. Just being a little honest here).
3. Her boyfriend should be considered a pedophile. If her parents were normal and like many parents out there, they would not allow there 15 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER dating a nearly 21 YEAR OLD MAN. It absolutely sickens me that nobody has looked into this and that they are so brazen about it. The are photographed everywhere together and and parents have gone on record about approving their "friendship". If my daughter even tries to date somebody nearing 21 years old at that age, he is going to be met with a restraining order at the door.
4. Her "Christian" beliefs. She talks about her Christianity being the foundation of her belief system, yet she poses provocatively, dresses slutty and dates 20 year olds. Nuff said. I would like a side note here as well that she has been photographed with her "friend" going into church. Both are wearing jeans and tank tops. I don't know where they were raised, but that is considered disrespectful in the church from where I come from.
Now, moving on, after my blood pressure has nearly topped the charts, to a person Perez and I differ in opinions. He loves Angelina Jolie. I hate Angelina Jolie. Her holier than thou persona just gets on my nerves. Her "perfect" family and "perfect" life just gets under my skin. I think that she is even a bigger liar than Miley. Here is my problem with her. She has 6 kids, with hopes for more. She is always just in "awe" of how amazing her children are. She travels the world with her children and plan on having more...way more! I would like her to walk in the shoes of a real parent for just one day and see what it is really like to be a mom. First off, there are no nannies. If you are planning an outing, plan on it taking at least 1 hour to actually get out of the house from the time that you begin trying. You will have to deal with dolls being left behind, getting into jackets, getting into the car, buckling everybody up, getting out of the car for the first bathroom break before leaving the driveway, undoing the jacket, cleaning up the accident because the first child did not give you enough notice that they need to get to the bathroom, changing clothes for the child who just wet himself meanwhile listening to the screams of the kids who are still in the car wanting to know what happened to you and needing snack/air/bathroom break. By the time you get out, you would have to put at least 3 if not 4 of your kids in a stroller (which means you would have to BEG somebody to go out with you in order to get out of the house and have them push the other stroller). By the time you get to the destination you have to change diapers, clean up mess in car, get drinks, get snacks and take the ones who are toilet trained to the bathroom. This is all before you go and do whatever it is that you needed to do. See my point. You never see her mentioning anything like that. EVER! Than she talks about how much her kids just LOVE to travel all around the world. I would like her to travel on a regular (non private) plane and see how much they LOVE to travel. I would like to see how she is going to entertain her kids who get antsy after 30 minutes asking how much longer until the get there, kicking the seat in front of them, needing bathroom breaks, having to change diapers while the person you do not know next to you looks on, meanwhile having 2, count them 2, nearly newborns screaming on the top of their lungs because their poor little eardrums are about to rupture and then trying to make bottles for them both. No, Angie, I do not envy your life! I do not care that you get to sleep next to Brad every night (who I am so OVER since he is a big, fat, CHEATER). I think that you are also a big hypocrite making everybody feel like sh*t because of all the "philanthropic" things that you do, yet, live in a $70 million mansion. It's their money. I get it. Spend it the way you want. Just don't make me feel bad because I did not donate to the 3 billion causes that she (or he) is constantly pushing down our throats.
So, in closing, if I ever become famous (I fully believe that this will happen in my lifetime) I only want to meet 2 people. The first is Britney. I have loved her since the beginning and nothing anybody says can make me change my mind. The second is Perez. I think that he is real, he is funny, and there is no way I ever would want to be on his bad side. If you have never checked him out, you must do so today. It is like you are supporting one of my closest friends, err, even though he has no idea who I am :)
www.perezhilton.com
http://m.perezhilton.com for all you mobile phone users.