Anniversary

James and I were able to celebrate our 6 year wedding anniversary yesterday with a babysitter and a quiet dinner out. This was an easy decision after last year's debacle of me spending the entire day doing a home cooked 5 course meal and having a formal dinner with the kids. Though last years dinner was very good (in my opinion at least), the kids whined the entire time through dinner that they did not like it. I had lit some candles to try to set the tone for the evening, but that tone was quickly changed by the kids singing "Happy Birthday to You" (with the cha cha cha's included) at the top of their lungs and continuously blowing out the candles. Obviously, candlelit formal dinners are not typical in the Blackwood household. So this year, James and I got a babysitter, kissed the kids, and tried a new restaurant that is not children friendly. The food was awesome and neither James or myself blew out the candles lit on our table (but I was kind of tempted to do so for some strange reason).
Our anniversary is usually followed by some sort of argument in The Blackwood household, and in all honesty, it is usually me starting the argument (ok, who are we joking, it is me that starts the argument 100% of the time). Our first anniversary I told James that we should not exchange presents so as to watch our money (the time of year is always difficult with the holidays so close, so this is the statement made every year). Right after making that statement, I ran out and bought him something nice (I do not remember what it was, but I am sure that it was nice). When it came time to exchange presents James gave me a beautiful detailed card (kudos for him checking out traditional 1st year presents and finding out that it is paper), and I gave him his present. He thanked me for his present and I burst into tears. James looked at me bewildered wondering why I was crying (I am definitely not the sentimental crying type of person!). Here is how the conversation went:
J: "What is wrong?"
S: "Nothing."
J: "I know that there is something wrong. You are crying."
S. "Nope, Nothing is wrong."
J: "Are you sure? You seem upset."
S: "I am upset. I am upset that you only bought me a card on our first year anniversary." There, I said it.
J: "But you told me that we were not exchanging. I thought that is what you said."
S: "That is what I said, but I meant nothing big, like a diamond ring. I did not mean anything at all."
J: "So why did you not say that?"
S: "Because I meant it and you should know what I meant!"
Note: I do not know why I do this to him. I think there is some female DNA thing that has to set up tests for a significant other in order for them to prove their love. I am not like this all of the time, at least, I don't think that I am.
So year #2 comes and we agree (again) not to exchange anything. This year, I did not buy him a thing since he had not purchased anything for me the year before. I must note that I was pregnant with my second at this time, so I was already a bit emotional. That year, James took me to a 5 star restaurant and gave me a beautiful piece of Tiffany's jewelry. He had also sent 1 dozen long stem roses to me at work and gave me a cotton cleaning cloth for my silver jewelry in honor of the cotton traditional present for the second year anniversary. Again, I burst into tears at the table. James looked incredulously at me and asked "Now what did I do wrong?"
S: "I thought that we agreed to not exchange presents. Now you have given me all these presents and I did not get anything for you".
J: "I do no need anything. I just want you to be happy"
S: "I am HAPPY. I would be HAPPIER if you had stuck to what we said and not given me anything!"
J: "But I did that last year and you were upset because I did not get you anything. What I am supposed to do?"
S: "Oh, just forget it"
**Please note, even I am shocked he has stuck with me this long.
So after 6 wedding anniversaries shared, we now have it nailed down. I got a beautiful pair of earrings that were expensive, but not too expensive that there will be nothing left for Christmas. James got nothing (as he requested). No tears, no arguments, just a good day.
Lastly I have a selfish reason for loving my anniversary so much. The time between November and April is really my favorite time of the year for one specific reason. People do not judge me when asking how long I have been married compared to the age of my daughter. For instance, right now, I would tell people that we have been married for 6 years and that my daughter is 5. This makes me look very respectable. I usually get the comments "Wow, you guys did not waste any time at all" in which I reply "Oh, you have no idea". They seem to figure it out a short time later when they ask when my oldest is turning a year older. Oh well. I had a few moments of no judgment. A wise woman once told me that the first pregnancies are always the shortest. How true it is.
So I will end on this note, I love my husband. I love everything about him. I love that he is successful and compassionate. I love that he loves me and all my faults. I love that he believes in me and that not a day goes by that he does not tell me that I am beautiful. I love that he will come home from working a 12 hour day and make dinner because I can't handle touching raw chicken. I love that he is an excellent father and a good person. I love that he kills spiders, deals with snakes, cleans the gutters, puts out the garbage and does all the gross stuff that is needed around the house. All in all, I fall in love with him more and more each day and feel honored that he chose me as his wife (even if he is not a mind reader!).