Facebook

So the last few weeks I began receiving a request almost daily to join Facebook by different friends. I have successfully avoided these social networks for years. They at times seem so invasive and way too informative. However, one too many friends told me I had to join so I gave a little information and I was off. I began with the requests that had been sent to my email and as soon as I signed up I had 10 friends. Wow, look at that, I am already feeling special! I got to see who stayed in contact with everybody, see some people I may want to reconnect with, some people I absolutely do not want to reconnect with but want to know what they are doing with their lives (and hopefully not very successful! God I am so evil.) I got to see their friends, their friends friends, their friends dogs, spouses, children, etc. I now know a ridiculous amount about people I have,nor will I ever, meet in this lifetime!
The first order of business was to pick a picture for my profile. I think I spent two hours going over pictures to find just that perfect one. My first choice would be to have one by myself, but how many times do you take pictures by yourself and not look like a total Tool? The pictures that you do have in which you are the sole focus is usually after a few too many and you are looking at whomever is holding the camera now convinced that you are a model, half closing your eyes (not trying to, but the alcohol won't let you open them correctly) blowing a kiss causing your face to slack on one side which ends with the result of you looking like you just had a stroke. Decided that that would not be the first impression I was going for. Then there is the alone picture, my personal favorite, where you take them of yourself (again, usually after a long night of drinking). You hold your arms out as far as they go, point the camera in the general direction of your face and smile a big cheesy grin. Because you inadvertently try to put your head at the furthest distance from your outstretched arms, the picture always ends up with you and a double (quadruple in some cases) chin, closed eyes, and about 10 inches of background above your forehead. Needless to say, the alone picture would not be featured on my page.
So next up, the most logical choice would be to have a picture of me and my husband. Unfortunately, we seem to be photogenic at totally different times. Every picture he looks great in, I have some funky expression on my face. The pictures that I did like of myself, he was not liking of himself. Personally, I think he is lucky that I did not post a picture of the two of us, because for once in my life I actually considered what type of picture he would want on my page. Honestly, whenever I look at a picture that I am in, no matter who is in it with me, I only focus on myself and how I look. I am pretty sure that this is common.
So finally, I chose a picture that I took with a friend this weekend. It complimented the right areas (if you know what I mean....wink, wink) and left a good first impression. (Let's not even go into the fact that I am computer illiterate and once I found the picture that I wanted, had to figure how how to put it on my page!)
Next up, inviting some friends to join your page. First I go to family since I am fairly confident that they will not refuse my invitation. Send an invite to my sister, my brother in law, my cousin Alan. You may know Alan. In fact, there is a very distinct possibility that you do know him because he has 926 friends on his Facebook account. That is right. Not a typo. 926. I am trying to reach 50 and he has over 900. Now I am feeling a little concerned. Does he need one more friend? Will he have time for a quick chat? Does he hang out with the Jonas Brothers? My God, his popularity knows no bounds!
Well, after that rude awakening, I begin to send out invitations to friends both old and new. I can tell you this right now, there is nothing more humbling then having to send an email to your 17 year old neighbor asking if he wants to be friends. Or wait, there is. It is seeing that he has 604 friends on his account. What the f*ck? How the hell does a teenager from Eugene know 600 people. He has so many friends, he has a whole different section of top friends. Oh Geez. I know I am not considered one of his top friends (I know this because I looked), but I am praying that he does not put me in the bottom friends list. That is even more humiliating than asking him to be my friend.
So after all that, I am actually beginning to reconnect with some people which is awesome. I also have not been able to leave the computer this entire day which is not good. I have been on Facebook for about 36 hours and I am completely addicted. I have not even been on Perez Hilton today. The fact that I am writing this now is only because I
a.) have another window open to continually check my account
b.) have a link to connect to this blog from my facebook account.
Hopefully I can get some sleep tonight....if I can tear myself away from the computer.