Halloween 2009

This year, Halloween happened to be on a Saturday, which happened to be a home game for University of Oregon, which happened to be at the time one of the biggest games of the year against USC. James's best friend Jim and his wife Stephanie have two children around the same ages as our kids and decided to come down for the game (they are the biggest USC fans that I know). When it was announced that that game was going to be played at 5pm, my heart broke. We had already planned on taking the 4 children to the game, but we knew that there was no way the kids were going to be able to do traditional trick or treating in the neighborhood. Fortunately, we did have a lot of friends that were also going to be taking their children to the game and decided to do a trunk or treating at all the tailgates. We had no idea if anybody else was going to be bringing candy so we took it upon ourselves to buy a bunch of candy and each have it at our tailgate spots so that all the kids would have at least a few places to hit during tailgate time. Oh my, was I off on my assumption. Every single person who tailgated had brought candy for the kids, and I swear that our group of kids was the only group to do trick or treating and we were MOBBED. It was like a G Rated Mardi Gras with people yelling "Show Us Your Kids". Every person had bought a ton of candy not knowing how many kids would be out and we were attacked. Each person was giving handfuls, that's right, handfuls of candy to all the trick or treaters that came by (I am to assume it was so that they did not have to go home with a bunch of candy that they bought for the game. That, or the fact that everybody seemed to have started drinking at 5am in the hope that they would appear on GAMEDAY on ESPN. By 3pm, the kids could no longer hold their bags as it was too heavy for them to trek around. At 3:30 a friend of ours brought out bags from the University of Oregon filled with Costco sized candy to each kid that was in our group. By the beginning of the game, even James and I could no longer carry the candy we had so much. There was pounds of it, and I am not exaggerating, pounds of candy that we took home. It was a successful day for Oregon with the win over USC (though our friends would probably say differently), but a great weekend. In our group we had Nancy Drew, a Power Puff girl and two fireman.

Wakeboarding

This summer we were fortunate enough to be invited a bunch of times on different boats various friends of ours own (this has also led to a very serious conversation in which James does not feel that we can go one more summer without owning a boat!). Wanting my children to be able to experience everything that they can, I pushed them to get on the wave runners, tubes, and water skis. For the most part, they loved it all, but Alyssa got a big rush of water up her nose when trying to water ski which led her to get mad and lash out at me (honestly, I just have no idea where she gets this from). After telling her to get back up again and not give up, she yelled (rather haughtily I might add) "Well I don't ever see you doing this!". Oh, Miss Priss, them some fighting words right there.

So we drop off all the children, grab a drink (essential for a day on the boat) and watch my friend Teresa hop in the water with the wakeboard on and get up like it is no big thing. Well, if she can do it, surely it can’t be that difficult. Well Teresa decides that she is finished with wakeboarding and drops into the water. I was the Orange Flag Girl (sure there is a specific name like "spotter" or something sensible like that, but we are going to go with Orange Flag Girl) and like the "experienced" boater that I am forget to hold up the flag. I mean really, there is only one job an Orange Flag Girl has to do and I am failing at it. This does not speak well for me getting into the water. Anyhoo, my friends Kendra, Steve and Teresa all decide that now it is my turn to go wakeboarding. This should not be too hard. I hand the camera to Kendra ask her to take pictures after I get up (really, if I only knew what the day had in store for me this would have been funnier) and try to get my feet in the wakeboard. Steve is giving me instructions which I am only half listening (a regret I will have later), when I think he realizes just how inexperienced I am. Here is how the conversation went:

Steve: "So this is going to feel very similar to snowboarding

Steph: "Uh yeah, never snowboarded"

Steve: "OK, what about water skiing?"

Steph: "Nope, never did that either"

Steve: "What about skateboarding"

Steph: "Steve, what about me screams I have ever been to a skate park or ridden a skateboard before"?

Steve: "Good Point. OK, lets just focus on you getting up first"

Steph: "Hahahahaha"

I would like to remind everybody that I am still on the boat at this point. So I am trying to get into the water in this scooting motion because my feet are trapped into this board. Seriously, do you have any idea how trapped a person feels without the use of their legs while going into the water. Not a great feeling! So I get into the water (read: fall in) and I am literally face down into the water and can not get flipped over. As I patiently listen to the snickers coming from the boat and from shore, I put my brave face on show everybody what a good sport I am (actually I yelled out to everybody to shut the f up before I kicked all of their a**es, but I like this new version of the story better). Steve is telling me to use my hips to get me to flip over and after about 100 tries I finally flip over onto my back. Ok. I am ready (and seriously reconsidering the 4 drinks that I have already had at this point). Steve yells for me to get my knees to my chest, hold my arms out straight, and just let the boat guide me. Really, how hard can that be? Well let me tell you, Pretty Damn Hard! I yell out "Ready" and Steve gets the boat moving. Now, I don't know what I was expecting when holding a rope to a large boat with an even larger motor, but I really was not expecting the force that hit me so suddenly. And then I fell face first even more suddenly. Holy shock, now I know what that water up the nose thing Alyssa was complaining about. It is really, not until then, that I realized how important the job of Orange Flag Girl is. As I was submerged into the water while waiting for the boat to pick me up while other boats are wizzing by made me realize real quick the job of Orange Flag Girl. Kendra and Teresa are sitting on the nice (dry, pain free) boat and I am screaming at them to get the damn orange flag up before I am ran over by a boat. This would be my luck. Killed by another boat while trying to get up on the wakeboard. So as I use my arms to try to swim towards the boat, Steve throws the rope to me and tells me to do it again. I don't want to do this again! Besides that public embarrassment that I have endured that is both real and horrifying, now I have to go through the torture of being whipped around by the boat. No way. Too bad my friends weren't having that attitude and took me along for ride number two. If you are really interested to see how it went, read about ride number 1. This literally went on for about 1 hour and I begged to stop. I finally announced that this was going to be my last time since it felt like I had water swimming around in my brain and my body was filled with bruises from hitting the water so hard. Let me tell you, after an hour and 100 tugs from the boat, I found some determination somewhere deep inside of me that forced myself to get up on that damn wakeboard (it was either that or the fact that the 5 year old next to me on a different boat got up on her first try). So I listened to everything Steve had told me, closed my eyes and Holy Sh*t, I got up, I am up, I am....down! But I don't care, I got up and the best part of it, Kendra took the picture at the exact second that I was up! (unfortunatly, I can't figure out how to zoom in and save it so it just looks like a far away person wakeboarding) Life was good.
We finished up the day with a few more drinks and a wild ride on the tube with my two girlfriends and me swearing I would be doing this again soon. That was until I tried to open the car door at the end of the evening and figured out just what 100 tugs on the rope trying to wakeboard does to your arms. Let us all hope that there is an update next summer with a full ride to report! Though I must add, that if Steve, Teresa and Kendra were not so patient there is no way I would have continued to try.

Our Dancing Queen

I don't know if it is the influence of Hannah Montana, the fact that my daughter is the biggest girlie girl that I know, or some sort of genetic inheritance, but my daughter LOVES to dance. For the past two years, she has been a part of a cute little dancing team that holds a big performance at the end of the year to show off their routine. For both years, she has chosen the intro to hip-hop class which is very cute, but sometimes seems very inappropriate for children in that age group. She joined a new dance class this past year (08-09) after another dance group and I did not see eye to eye on some things. I feel like I am a pretty go with the flow type of person, but some of the things that they did did not mesh well with me. Here is the experience from our first dance class:
Alyssa has a big dance recital where all of the groups at her dance school put on a performance. Ummm where do I start? I guess I should begin with the dance teacher (an 18 year old girl) trying to convince me to buy a sweatshirt to help support the studio. I look at the front of it and it has the dance studio's logo on the front. Oh so cute. Then I turn it around and it says "I'D TAP THAT"! I gave the sweatshirt back to the teacher and let her know that we would not be buying a sweatshirt from her. The teacher, looking at me wildly and bewildered, can not understand why I am so upset about the sweatshirt. I told her that I find it completely inappropriate for a 5 year old to wear a shirt with that kind of content on it, in which she recommended that I get one for myself. Yeah, that would be the day (actually, there was probably about a 5 year span in my life where I would have thought that was really cool to wear something that notified the public that I am "TAP" worthy, but come on, can you imagine me showing up to Alyssa's Catholic School wearing that? Sweats that spell Juicy over my a** completely ok, sweatshirt about tapping that, I do not think so!)
Anyhoo, the recital begins and Alyssa and her 4 year old class to a dance to "Mulberry Bush". So cute. The next age group, the 7 to 9 year olds, come and perform SexyBack by Justin Timberlake. Uh, why is a 7 year old trying to convince me that she is going to bring sexy back, and where the hell did it go in the first place? Does she even know what sexy means? Probably. I am pretty sure Alyssa knows what it means at 5, so I do not know why I think it would be different for a 7 year old. Following that performance, the 9 to 11 year olds (pretty sure everybody is still in elementary school at this point) and do a little dance to Soulja boy (supposed to be soldier boy, but the moron can't spell). I believe that fine musical diddy goes something like "Super soak that hoooo, super soak that ho". Did the kids (and/or teachers) think this song was about the ever popular super soaker water guns? Is there a reason why I am watching a 9 year old little girls gyrating to a song about ho's?
The topper of the day came out when the specially selected group from all age groups (the best of the best) begin to dance to "I'm so hood". Oh really Katie. You are so hood. I guess the blond pigtails threw me off for a minute. If it was not the pigtails, it definitely was the gleaming smile and giggles as she did her dance routine. No Katie, you are not so hood. Eugene, though known for many things, is not on the US radar for most dangerous hoods. In fact, I don't think there is even a hood in Eugene. Anyway, I am pulling her out of the dance studio. I am not trying to raise a little girl who dresses and acts sexually provocative and a wannabe gangster (oh my god, I just described my middle school years).

So after that experience, we changed dance studio's and have been much happier there. The video included is at her new dance studio and I think for the most part it just shows that she is having fun and enjoying the stage. I still can't figure out what she enjoys more: being on stage, performing her routine, or getting to put a pound of makeup on her face so that she is not "drowned out" by the lights. She has several friends from school that do dancing with her and she always gets to do her performance in front of my parents who make it up to see her "Big Show"

The spolied Under 30 Crowd

Here is another email that I got that I totally identified with. I feel like I am starting to get real old since I can start a sentence "20 years ago we didn't do...." and totally be able to remember what it was like over 20 years ago!

THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!

If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears
with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning

Uphill... barefoot...

BOTH ways

Yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,
there was no way in hell I was going to lay

a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it

and how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of
thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my
childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

And I hate to say it but you kids today you
don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, We had to go to the damn library and
look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write
somebody a letter, with a pen!

Then you had to walk all the way to the steet and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! No where was safe!

There were no MP3' s or Napsters! You wanted to
steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished and the tape would come undone.

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you
were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school,
your mom, your boss, your Bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you
just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video
games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games
like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You
actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or
screens, it was just one screen
forever!

And you could never win. The game just kept getting
harder and harder and
faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!


You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was
on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off
your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel, and there were only three of them, ABC, NBC. and CBS. There was no
Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons
on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK
for cartoons, you spoiled
little rat-bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat
something up we had to use the stove ... Imagine that!

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids
today have got it too easy.
You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted
five minutes back in 1980 or before!

Random Thoughts from People Our Age

I got this email and it had me laughing and falling off my chair because I identified with so many of the "thoughts". Here are just a few thoughts from people our age:

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. (Even with mapquest and navigation, I inevitably get lost and wind up in a bad neighborhood)

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think
about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own
story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me. (I wish this did not describe me as accurately as it does, but unfortunately, it is true)

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you're wrong. (This rarely happens, so I really can't relate)

-I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink
to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint
and sticks when they've invented the lighter? (I second that)

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going
in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going?
But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from
which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or
phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that
no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching
directions on the sidewalk. (I do this ALL THE TIME. Again, my sense of directions always leads me the wrong way and I always try to play it off.)

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know"
feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not
to be friends with? (Nope, it is not just you. Then, you get a request and don't want to be a b*tch for declining and acting like you are 16 again, but you really don't want to hear how unbelievably perfect life is for said person, or you try to be nice and get past high school and try to post a greeting on the person's wall you did not want to be friends with in the first place and you get no response. Sometimes I just want to write on the wall, "I know you want to look at my pictures and I want to look at your pictures and we will leave it at that". Think that would make life a hell of a lot more easier!)

-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix
the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how
to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We
just figured it out. Today's kids are soft. (I so did that. I also jerked the control up and down and side to side to try to give Mario that EXTRA jump to get that coin. I think my actions led somebody to eventually create the Wii, but I have no way to prove it)

-There is a great need for sarcasm font. (I agree. but in the mean time I will continue to use paranthesis and italize my words)

-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly
realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it. (Grease and Dirty Dancing come to mind. Basically my favorite movies growing up and really, the point of both movies is slut it up and you will get the guy. What a great coming of age story)

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes
stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes
shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right
parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond
earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it. (StepBrothers for me)

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? (I just crumple it together because I thought I would really never need to know how to fold that stupid sheet. The first day on the job at Pottery Barn they asked me to fold a bunch of fitted sheets. Ummm, I know I have a college degree, but I can't even begin to fake trying to fold those things. I just kind of stuffed it in a bag and hoped nobody would notice!)

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. (This comes from experience from anybody who has had to climb stairs to their apartments)

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die. (I don't really do that much on my computer, but would probably be embarrassed if anybody knew how many times in a day I logged on to Perez Hilton)

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish
a text. (Just did this today)

- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread
of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it. (I really need to start playing Beer Pong again. While I am at it, maybe add a little Bullsh*t and Never have I ever. That should lead to some interesting conversations...How would you play Never have I ever as a mom? Use the statement, Never have I ever given birth vaginally and see which women drink? That sounds like fun.)

- Was learning cursive really necessary? (Only for your signature)

- Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have
nothing else to say". (Lucky I even know what LOL means)

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. (The story of my life)

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying. (I would sometimes change one answer so that they weren't all in a row)

- My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing
as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the
name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy,
bro.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart",
all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart". (Yeah, I don't know too many people who have had to survive the mean streets of wherever and get by on some skills)

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you
just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said? (This always happens to me when somebody with an accent begins talking to me. I always answer "yes", and more often times than not, it was not a yes or no question)

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers! (No matter how sh*tty a day is, when this happens it instantly brightens my world)

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples,
I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today
I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's
G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies" (Seriously fell off my chair on this one. I have got A as in Apple down and after that, totally screwed. Come up with the most random things too, as in B as in....bratwurst)

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each
other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively
swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower
first and THEN turn on the water. (My shower has to run for at least 5 minutes so that there is absolutely no cold water anywhere coming through!)

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever. (nope, I disagree here. Wash it all. Even if you just tried it on and you don't want to deal with actually hanging up the pants, throw it in the laundry to you can avoid it until later)

- I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to
be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight
woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night." (Best...Phrase...Ever)

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. (Before I had kids)

- Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile
is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder
BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every
year?

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would
probably just be completely invisible. (How many people read this sentence and started humming "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?")

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around
and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous?
Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem.... (Oh my God this could not describe me better...I am like, ok, do I say the whole name or just the first name. Where I am from, you mean city I was born, State, current district I live in...what. Then there always seems to be the obligitory "And name your favorite hobby" Who the f has time for a damn hobby?)

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when
you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive
for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want
to have to restart my collection. ( I am on record right here to ignore anything past DVD's)

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going
to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I
did not make any changes to. (I just keep hitting save for fear of total loss to my work)

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash
this ever. (Seriously have a red top that has been in my laundry basket for over a year because the cleaners won't take it saying it is too complicated and I have no idea where to even begin)

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching
TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me
if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's
only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we
still be friends after this?' (I have these internal conversations almost daily, but then I get mad and start thinking in my head, who cares if they don't like it, they can just leave Dammit! Then I feel guilty for thinking that. My life is complicated)

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!),
but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail.
What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away? (Pretty much happens daily when calling my mom)

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. (That is why I tend to look like sh*t most days of the week and get all dolled up for special occasions. I get the statment "Wow, you really clean up well" almost everytime.

-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't
already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then
I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes. (At the gym I am constantly changing my songs to my "absolute favorite" songs instead of just "my favorite songs".)

-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed
for pedophiles...

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but
no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. (Anybody who knows me know how true this is for me. Think it started when a bicyclist went through my windshield, but I could be wrong...)

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood. (Yeah, why do they call it that? Like everybody who is thinking of entering parenthood decides to get all of their information from a free clinic)

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer
when they call. (I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone in case it is ever stolen, I look popular)

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to
with it.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys
in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but
I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet
away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...(I can never find my keys, but can always find the snooze button. )

-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would
happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that? (This literally occurs everyday in my car, but my kids ask more scientifc questions like"How come there are clouds in the sky some days and none on others? I feel like telling them "You will learn about that in 7th grade, study it, repeat it on a test, and completely forget the answer by the next week and never need to know the answer to that question again until you have children and they ask pointless, err, creative questions" Usually I just say "I don't know, ask your father"

-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on <http://cnn.com/> CNN.com and the
link takes me to a video instead of text.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive
behind obeys the speed limit. (Coming from the family I do, I know some of them would drive the posted speed limit on the bay bridge and cause huge traffic jams while laughing the whole way. It's funnier when you know the people)

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday
night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they
had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at
the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then
estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such
a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing
like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner. (This happens every time I go to Taco Bell)

Seattle

Since we have lived in the Northwest, we have visited Seattle twice and each time I have been there I have fallen more and more in love with the city (this could partly be due to us only traveling in the summer months and not during the rainy season, but really, how different could it be from Oregon?). Both times our visit has been to see the Seattle Mariners. We are not traitors to our Bay Area roots, but not being able to go to a baseball game whenever we like has been a huge drawback for both my husband and I. Growing up in the Bay Area going to see the A's or the Giants would be a regular occurrence. Since our visits to the Bay are always so hectic, we very rarely can fit in a game. Hence, the reason for us migrating up north to watch a game.
So we get to Safeco field and it is very apparent that their fans do not wear Mariners gear. This is very odd to me. I have been to many stadiums on the west coast for different sporting events, and this is the only place that the majority of fans are not wearing their team logo or even their team colors. It is really bizarre. (In defense of my family, I was not going to go and buy Mariners apparel since I already get enough &*A$@ for wearing Oregon clothing since I am an AZ WILDCAT and if we were to disrespect our A's/Giants family we may never be invited home!). The crowd seemed enthused and happy to be there, but for whatever odd reason, nobody wants to wear the Mariners gear.
Because we had company tickets, we had really good seats, but then again, I believe that this term should be used loosely. Were we very close to the field and could see all the action? Yes. Did we (really meaning me) get freaked out every time a batter was up for fear of a foul ball coming and hitting one of us? (The person directly behind us caught a foul ball. They were not knocked unconscious or anything, but, you never know!) The game was boring until the last 2 innings and then it got really exciting. This pretty much coincided with the kids reaching their boredom point and asking "when can we leeeeeeeeeeave"? We did make it the entire game. Mariners won. Kids were filled with junk food. All in all, it was a successful trip.
We ended up spending the night in Seattle and doing the tourist thing the next day. Thanks to Facebook, I got to meet up with 2 college friends that I had not seen in forever! We walked EVERYWHERE and the hills of Seattle should be in direct competition with the hills of San Francisco. Our calves were BURNING (all but Jimmy's who was napping in the stroller that we got him). We had breakfast at a restaurant called Portage Bay Cafe (highly recommend it). All organic and natural and super yummy food. We went to the REI flagship store (I really and truly believe that this is one of the coolest stores I have ever been to in my entire life!) and of course Starbucks (where Alyssa had her first cappuccino. Thought she would not like it...she proved me wrong). And of course, no trip would be complete without going to Pike's Market. I swear if I lived in Seattle I would go every weekend regardless if it was a touristy thing or not (Pier 39 is still on of my favorite places on earth).The food, the fish, the flowers, everything about it made me fall in love with the city even more. If you have never been to Seattle, it is a must. Full Northwest experience in one place. Just pack a pair of jeans, an umbrella and a NorthFace jacket, and you are set to go!

Henry Louis Gates Jr. Contraversy

I am a pretty simple person and try to keep many of my views to myself. I don't speak politics or religion with others. I try to see both sides to every story so that I may form an honest opinion on my own. I read both MSN and Fox news so that I may try to dissect the real news story (isn't that sad there doesn't seem to be any news anymore that doesn't either lean to the left or to the right?). All in all I feel that I am a very fair person. The story of Sgt. Crowley and Professor Gates is just one that has sent me over the edge. To be fair, I may be biased since I come from a huge family of police officers. That being said, I find it disheartening that the media would play this out as a racist issue. It is totally ridiculous that Sgt. Crowley is being vilified for this arrest. Here are some facts:
1. He was responding to a call.
He did not pull him over or stop him on the street. He did not even make the phone call. He was responding to a potentially life threatening call. He was by himself. He has a right to be a little confrontational (I get jumpy when the doorbell rings, let alone try to figure out what I would do if confronting a possible burglar)
2. Professor Gates began speaking disrespectfully immediately
When did it become OK to speak harshly to police officers. I raise my kids the way that I was raised and the way almost everybody I know was raised. You respect the people that risk their lives for you. That includes anybody in the military, the police, firefighters, people in the medical profession, etc. You know what, no, that is not accurate. I raise my children to respect everybody. I totally understand sticking up for yourself if you are continually being disrespected, but I have yet to see or hear any evidence stating that he was calmly trying to explain to the officer the misunderstanding. Treat others as you would like to be treated. I find this to be very helpful in all aspects of life. Maybe Professor Gates should go back to preschool to remember some important life lessons.
3. The 911 caller is getting none of the blame.
I don't blame the 911 caller either. I know Prof. Gates had been gone for a long time, but if you got to know your neighbors, this situation would never had happened. Furthermore, if there is a case for "racial profiling" it is not against the Cambridge Police Department but for the caller. However, I do not feel that this is a case of racial profiling. I honestly feel that your average citizen would call the police if somebody was trying to break a door down, whether it be teenagers, men, women, etc. I truly, honestly believe this.

Here is the police report if you would like to read the submitted report
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0723092gates1.html
Here is a great article written by an African American male on his point of view:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32085686

Now that I got that off my chest I am now going to check in with all of my neighbors:)

Annoying Mom's

So today I was sitting at the Eugene Swim and Tennis club and was forced to listen to these two "friends" get into a pissing match (in a friendly way) over their children. The first woman was watching her son play and commenting on how well he was playing:
"My child has improved immensely this year on his swing. We have been doing tennis FOREVER and the improvements are amazing" (really, forever, he is four... idiot).
"Well we just started my son in this tennis camp this summer, but he is just SHOCKING to watch play golf. It just amazes me every time. He takes lessons at the COUNTRY CLUB" (literally, she basically shouted country club. Guess she wanted us all to know that she belongs to the country club as well...OK)
So mom #1 comes back with "well, we looked into golf lessons, but it was just too time consuming with all of his tennis lessons, classes at Montessori, and piano lessons and tutoring he is getting from Sylvan to continue his advancement. I am pretty sure he is going to skip a grade" (by now I am staring at these women with my mouth hung open. I can be certain of two things. The child will be walking around his school with a giant kick me sign on his back and she neglected to include his daily therapy sessions that he no doubt needs).
Mom #2 couldn't one up Mom #1 so she changed subjects about the Disney Channel that the tennis club had on for the siblings that weren't in the tennis lesson.
"You know, we don't allow the Disney channel on in my house. The themes are just morally wrong and too mature for anybody younger than high school" (yeah, that is what teenagers do when they come home from high school. Run to turn on the latest from Disney Channel. Maybe if they are smokin something and need a good laugh, but that is about it on that scenario).
Mom #1 "I know, we don't allow that either. My 7 year old daughter went and had a play date over at a friends house and watched some of it there. She came home and said the word sexy (she literally whispered this word). I was shocked, just SHOCKED. I know she had to got that word from that channel" (I was thinking, sad for her, nobody around her has ever used that term in her presence. My husband tells me I am sexy almost daily, and let me tell you, I make sure he yells that word if anybody else is around to hear it).
Mom#2 "You know, my husband wrote in to the president of Disney studio's letting him know how inappropriate the content was on that channel. I mean really, come on" (first thought that popped into my head was a.) your husband is a bigger douche than you if he wrote in to a studio about "content" and b.) there is not one MAN I know that would ever, EVER, do something like this).
Thankfully, class was over and the kids came running out. My blood pressure seriously soared listening to this conversation. Here is what my conversations sound like with my friends at the tennis club:
"you want a drink?"
"Yeah, do you" :)

Things White People Like

So there is this blog out there titled "Things White People Like". At first I was a little uncomfortable going to a website with that title because I was fearful that it may be racist, but it is not, just very ironic (a thing white people like). It seems to focus on things that 20 and 30 somethings in the middle to high income bracket seem to enjoy... and enjoy... and enjoy. There list now has over 100 items on it with descriptions on each one. My personal favorites are:

-Coffee: Still drink my 4 dollar coffee almost daily. Don't drink regular coffee but a non fat sugar free vanilla latte extra hot with a splenda. Seems too complicated to make on my own so I happily fork over my money for it to be made for me!

-Microbreweries-big in the Northwest

-Wine-Just figured out how to hold my wine glass properly but I do love my Pinot Grigio. I am not a fan of reds or people who tell me that I will acquire a taste for red's (though these same people said the same thing about coffee and now look at me, wait, nevermind, I still don't drink a regular cup of coffee)

-Having two last names-yes Wagner-Weir, I am looking at you:)

-Marathons-Just when I get into running and feel accomplished for completing 5 miles, 30 of my friends decide to start running 10-15 miles...a day. I will never be this dedicated and will always feel underaccomplished (not sure if that is an actual word, but we are going to go with it)

-St. Patrick's Day-Hell Yeah! Love this holiday, but it will never be the same after this year. Green beer, green clothes, kisses, green beer. What is not to like about this

-Hummus-I could eat it everyday (and often do)

There are somethings that I think need to be added to the list:

1. Reusable bags. Every single store is now selling them. Some stores (ahem, Trader Jo's) even make you feel bad if you don't have one or bring one in. Here is the problem I have with reusable bags. I can never remember my shopping list by the time I get to the store let alone the bags that I am supposed to have for my groceries. Plus, I always intend to buy 1 item and end up with 37. I think I would look like an idiot or a cheap ass if I only had one bag for my cart full of groceries. Furthermore, what is the social etiquette for these bags? I shop at many different stores (Safeway, Trader Jo's, Target, Market of Choice). Do I have to have the bags that correspond with the store, or is it chic to use them no matter if the name of the store does not correspond with the name of the bag. It is too much of a headache. Paper, please!

2. Homeschooling their children. Why is that now becoming more and more the rage? Are these parents aliens? Do they enjoy NEVER getting a break, ever, from their children. Furthermore, were they tortured in school and think that by the time these kids enter back into school society they will have no problems? I have no problem paying for my kids school, but I draw the line at converting my kitchen table to a desk top.

3. The term Douche. How did this term really begin ever getting used? It is really foul. No really, if you really think about it, it is really foul. If my origins prove correctly it started out by trying to give the ultimate putdown (usually between one boy to another) at calling each other douchebags. Than, more recently it has been shortened to Douche, D-bag, Douchenozzle, etc. The term is thrown around without a blink of an eye. ( I must admit that I do, on occasion, use this term. I think that I don't find it as offensive because I have never seen an actual douchebag, but can imagine that it would not be pleasant)

4. Ed Hardy/Affliction gear: See #3.

5. Summer scarves. Though the list does include scarves, I think summer scarves should get it's own number. I am sure that I am going to offend at least half of my girlfriends by printing this, but hello, the whole point of a scarf is to keep your neck WARM. When it is f*cking 98 degrees out the last thing I want is another article of clothing (sorry for the swearing, I am currently dieing of heat right now)

I am sure that you may be able to recommend a ton more and this may be updated as well, but these are the things that I have thought of recently.

My Girls

Some people meet their best friends in their neighborhoods, some at college. Some meet in their fraternities/sororities and some meet people at work. Some are even fortunate to marry their best friend. In each of these categories I have some amazing friends that I hold very dear to my heart, but the girls who know me, without a doubt more than anybody else in this world are my girls: my best friends from high school (there is one very large exception to this rule with somebody I met at ERAC, became roomies with, and I believe lifelong friends with.)
I don't know what it is about these girls that make me so emotional. I can only describe it as a stripped down friendship. We just know each other. You can't pretend to be something that you are not, you can't lie, you can't be fake. You just are who you are (I am so poetic sometimes, aren't I).
Since I have moved away, we try to get together a few times a year for just girl time. The last few years has been easy to combine trips with bachelorette parties, weddings, weekend trips, etc. Trying to schedule a time we can all get together is often difficult but we always try to make it.
Our most recent time together was for my best friend Alicia's 30th birthday (which is scary because we were talking about her bbq that we had for her 15th birthday, and really, she would kill me if I even began to discuss her 16th birthday). We met up with Sasha for dinner but missed Kristin (my other half basically) who was sick. Sasha is planning her wedding and asked us to be bridesmaids in her wedding. We said "Of Course!" simultaneously (this is what happens when you are friends this long. You finish each other's sentences and think the same thoughts, not that this was a difficult thought to think, but you get my drift). Naturally, we had to celebrate so we ordered some wine and some champagne and some cocktails to hold us over while they opened other bottles of wine.
Alicia and I decided to go out and enjoy (re-live?) our youth. She took me to a place called MoMo's, a big hangout for Giants fans. It was pretty dead when we arrived and we got some very special treatment being that it was Alicia's birthday (probably doesn't hurt that she is beautiful as well). Had a shot to toast her and then a drink. My eyes started to go cross eyed but I said power through it, power through. So I did what any other sensible person in my position would do. I took another shot. Followed closely by another drink. The bar got crazy packed all of a sudden and everybody was talking about what an amazing game it was. Couldn't figure out why because it seemed like they won by a landslide of 8 to 0. I was so gone, I didn't even realize it was some monumental game for the first no hitter by a giant since 1976 or some crap like that. All of a sudden a man dressed up in a panda suit walked in (which still confuses me sober) followed by my infamous words "I'm Done!.
Being that we are now 30, we came home at the respectable time of 11:00pm in which I proceeded to pass out, throw up a few times, and pass out again. Leesh woke me up early in the morning and asked how I was doing. I felt great! Than I sat up:( Oh great, here goes that cross eyed thing again. Took a shower, went a layed down for a bit, put on half of my makeup, layed down for a bit, tried to eat something, layed down a bit, put on the other half of my makeup, layed down. Finally decided that this up and down thing is really not working for me so I just blew dry my hair laying down. What, you ask, am I getting ready for? Oh, just a grand day of wine tasting! Yumm. Just what my tummy is calling for!
We all meet up to drive into Sonoma and my sister takes one look at me and tells me not to puke in her car. Though my girls know me backwards and forwards, I don't think I could ever get anything past my sister. We put on some old school Bay Area rap that we grew up with (Think RBL, Too Short, etc) and laugh at how "gangsta" we used to think that we were. I can only imagine what the people thought when we exited the Infinity after blasting some of the most disgusting songs ever made. Oh Well. We got over it. We get to our first destination, Gloria Ferrer, or however you spell it and they have sparkling wine. To my amazement this (somewhat) settled my stomach. We stayed for a over 2 hours just catching up and reminiscing. That is the thing with these girls. We can talk for hours and hours and never try to come up with new conversation.
We hit up a few more wineries and had lunch in Sonoma Square. We decided to hang out at the Lotus Hotel and have another glass of wine (because we really needed just one more). Naturally, we bump into some guys we went to high school with and got caught up with them even though we were over an hour from where we grew up. Headed back and Leesh convinced me to rebound for night two (I only get a weekend like this a year, so I have to live it up right). Went out to dinner where my stomach still isn't feeling good (seriously, longest hangover I have ever had) and got ready for night two.
We met up with some of my ERAC girls and went to a club. I was one of 4 white girls there so I fit right in. Got to see a Dance Off and kept looking for Randy Jackson to see if he was dancing for America's Best Dance Crew but could not locate him. Evidently these guys were doing this dance off thing for fun. Hmmmm. I am out of it! Finished off a bottle of Grey Goose (between 5 of us girls. What, we couldn't waste!) and headed back.
Finished off the weekend with a nice healthy (read: high calorie) brunch at Sam's in Tiburon. Had a Bloody Mary or two there before my liver started to shut down. Finally got to see Kristin even though our time was too short. We began to talk about our next adventure, where we were going to go, what we are going to do, and when everybody is available to get together. We have an exciting year already (bachelorette party, showers, wedding) to make that many more memories.
I recently finished a book called "The Girls from Ames". It is a nonfiction book about 9 girls and how they have remained friends for 40 years. There is not a doubt in my mind that we will be there a few decades from now. We have dealt with each others first boyfriends, and first breakups, first loves, first marriages. We have dealt with pregnancy, heartache, illness and loss. Through it all, we have found the laughter that is the base of our friendship. I love my girls.