Annoying Mom's

So today I was sitting at the Eugene Swim and Tennis club and was forced to listen to these two "friends" get into a pissing match (in a friendly way) over their children. The first woman was watching her son play and commenting on how well he was playing:
"My child has improved immensely this year on his swing. We have been doing tennis FOREVER and the improvements are amazing" (really, forever, he is four... idiot).
"Well we just started my son in this tennis camp this summer, but he is just SHOCKING to watch play golf. It just amazes me every time. He takes lessons at the COUNTRY CLUB" (literally, she basically shouted country club. Guess she wanted us all to know that she belongs to the country club as well...OK)
So mom #1 comes back with "well, we looked into golf lessons, but it was just too time consuming with all of his tennis lessons, classes at Montessori, and piano lessons and tutoring he is getting from Sylvan to continue his advancement. I am pretty sure he is going to skip a grade" (by now I am staring at these women with my mouth hung open. I can be certain of two things. The child will be walking around his school with a giant kick me sign on his back and she neglected to include his daily therapy sessions that he no doubt needs).
Mom #2 couldn't one up Mom #1 so she changed subjects about the Disney Channel that the tennis club had on for the siblings that weren't in the tennis lesson.
"You know, we don't allow the Disney channel on in my house. The themes are just morally wrong and too mature for anybody younger than high school" (yeah, that is what teenagers do when they come home from high school. Run to turn on the latest from Disney Channel. Maybe if they are smokin something and need a good laugh, but that is about it on that scenario).
Mom #1 "I know, we don't allow that either. My 7 year old daughter went and had a play date over at a friends house and watched some of it there. She came home and said the word sexy (she literally whispered this word). I was shocked, just SHOCKED. I know she had to got that word from that channel" (I was thinking, sad for her, nobody around her has ever used that term in her presence. My husband tells me I am sexy almost daily, and let me tell you, I make sure he yells that word if anybody else is around to hear it).
Mom#2 "You know, my husband wrote in to the president of Disney studio's letting him know how inappropriate the content was on that channel. I mean really, come on" (first thought that popped into my head was a.) your husband is a bigger douche than you if he wrote in to a studio about "content" and b.) there is not one MAN I know that would ever, EVER, do something like this).
Thankfully, class was over and the kids came running out. My blood pressure seriously soared listening to this conversation. Here is what my conversations sound like with my friends at the tennis club:
"you want a drink?"
"Yeah, do you" :)

Things White People Like

So there is this blog out there titled "Things White People Like". At first I was a little uncomfortable going to a website with that title because I was fearful that it may be racist, but it is not, just very ironic (a thing white people like). It seems to focus on things that 20 and 30 somethings in the middle to high income bracket seem to enjoy... and enjoy... and enjoy. There list now has over 100 items on it with descriptions on each one. My personal favorites are:

-Coffee: Still drink my 4 dollar coffee almost daily. Don't drink regular coffee but a non fat sugar free vanilla latte extra hot with a splenda. Seems too complicated to make on my own so I happily fork over my money for it to be made for me!

-Microbreweries-big in the Northwest

-Wine-Just figured out how to hold my wine glass properly but I do love my Pinot Grigio. I am not a fan of reds or people who tell me that I will acquire a taste for red's (though these same people said the same thing about coffee and now look at me, wait, nevermind, I still don't drink a regular cup of coffee)

-Having two last names-yes Wagner-Weir, I am looking at you:)

-Marathons-Just when I get into running and feel accomplished for completing 5 miles, 30 of my friends decide to start running 10-15 miles...a day. I will never be this dedicated and will always feel underaccomplished (not sure if that is an actual word, but we are going to go with it)

-St. Patrick's Day-Hell Yeah! Love this holiday, but it will never be the same after this year. Green beer, green clothes, kisses, green beer. What is not to like about this

-Hummus-I could eat it everyday (and often do)

There are somethings that I think need to be added to the list:

1. Reusable bags. Every single store is now selling them. Some stores (ahem, Trader Jo's) even make you feel bad if you don't have one or bring one in. Here is the problem I have with reusable bags. I can never remember my shopping list by the time I get to the store let alone the bags that I am supposed to have for my groceries. Plus, I always intend to buy 1 item and end up with 37. I think I would look like an idiot or a cheap ass if I only had one bag for my cart full of groceries. Furthermore, what is the social etiquette for these bags? I shop at many different stores (Safeway, Trader Jo's, Target, Market of Choice). Do I have to have the bags that correspond with the store, or is it chic to use them no matter if the name of the store does not correspond with the name of the bag. It is too much of a headache. Paper, please!

2. Homeschooling their children. Why is that now becoming more and more the rage? Are these parents aliens? Do they enjoy NEVER getting a break, ever, from their children. Furthermore, were they tortured in school and think that by the time these kids enter back into school society they will have no problems? I have no problem paying for my kids school, but I draw the line at converting my kitchen table to a desk top.

3. The term Douche. How did this term really begin ever getting used? It is really foul. No really, if you really think about it, it is really foul. If my origins prove correctly it started out by trying to give the ultimate putdown (usually between one boy to another) at calling each other douchebags. Than, more recently it has been shortened to Douche, D-bag, Douchenozzle, etc. The term is thrown around without a blink of an eye. ( I must admit that I do, on occasion, use this term. I think that I don't find it as offensive because I have never seen an actual douchebag, but can imagine that it would not be pleasant)

4. Ed Hardy/Affliction gear: See #3.

5. Summer scarves. Though the list does include scarves, I think summer scarves should get it's own number. I am sure that I am going to offend at least half of my girlfriends by printing this, but hello, the whole point of a scarf is to keep your neck WARM. When it is f*cking 98 degrees out the last thing I want is another article of clothing (sorry for the swearing, I am currently dieing of heat right now)

I am sure that you may be able to recommend a ton more and this may be updated as well, but these are the things that I have thought of recently.

My Girls

Some people meet their best friends in their neighborhoods, some at college. Some meet in their fraternities/sororities and some meet people at work. Some are even fortunate to marry their best friend. In each of these categories I have some amazing friends that I hold very dear to my heart, but the girls who know me, without a doubt more than anybody else in this world are my girls: my best friends from high school (there is one very large exception to this rule with somebody I met at ERAC, became roomies with, and I believe lifelong friends with.)
I don't know what it is about these girls that make me so emotional. I can only describe it as a stripped down friendship. We just know each other. You can't pretend to be something that you are not, you can't lie, you can't be fake. You just are who you are (I am so poetic sometimes, aren't I).
Since I have moved away, we try to get together a few times a year for just girl time. The last few years has been easy to combine trips with bachelorette parties, weddings, weekend trips, etc. Trying to schedule a time we can all get together is often difficult but we always try to make it.
Our most recent time together was for my best friend Alicia's 30th birthday (which is scary because we were talking about her bbq that we had for her 15th birthday, and really, she would kill me if I even began to discuss her 16th birthday). We met up with Sasha for dinner but missed Kristin (my other half basically) who was sick. Sasha is planning her wedding and asked us to be bridesmaids in her wedding. We said "Of Course!" simultaneously (this is what happens when you are friends this long. You finish each other's sentences and think the same thoughts, not that this was a difficult thought to think, but you get my drift). Naturally, we had to celebrate so we ordered some wine and some champagne and some cocktails to hold us over while they opened other bottles of wine.
Alicia and I decided to go out and enjoy (re-live?) our youth. She took me to a place called MoMo's, a big hangout for Giants fans. It was pretty dead when we arrived and we got some very special treatment being that it was Alicia's birthday (probably doesn't hurt that she is beautiful as well). Had a shot to toast her and then a drink. My eyes started to go cross eyed but I said power through it, power through. So I did what any other sensible person in my position would do. I took another shot. Followed closely by another drink. The bar got crazy packed all of a sudden and everybody was talking about what an amazing game it was. Couldn't figure out why because it seemed like they won by a landslide of 8 to 0. I was so gone, I didn't even realize it was some monumental game for the first no hitter by a giant since 1976 or some crap like that. All of a sudden a man dressed up in a panda suit walked in (which still confuses me sober) followed by my infamous words "I'm Done!.
Being that we are now 30, we came home at the respectable time of 11:00pm in which I proceeded to pass out, throw up a few times, and pass out again. Leesh woke me up early in the morning and asked how I was doing. I felt great! Than I sat up:( Oh great, here goes that cross eyed thing again. Took a shower, went a layed down for a bit, put on half of my makeup, layed down for a bit, tried to eat something, layed down a bit, put on the other half of my makeup, layed down. Finally decided that this up and down thing is really not working for me so I just blew dry my hair laying down. What, you ask, am I getting ready for? Oh, just a grand day of wine tasting! Yumm. Just what my tummy is calling for!
We all meet up to drive into Sonoma and my sister takes one look at me and tells me not to puke in her car. Though my girls know me backwards and forwards, I don't think I could ever get anything past my sister. We put on some old school Bay Area rap that we grew up with (Think RBL, Too Short, etc) and laugh at how "gangsta" we used to think that we were. I can only imagine what the people thought when we exited the Infinity after blasting some of the most disgusting songs ever made. Oh Well. We got over it. We get to our first destination, Gloria Ferrer, or however you spell it and they have sparkling wine. To my amazement this (somewhat) settled my stomach. We stayed for a over 2 hours just catching up and reminiscing. That is the thing with these girls. We can talk for hours and hours and never try to come up with new conversation.
We hit up a few more wineries and had lunch in Sonoma Square. We decided to hang out at the Lotus Hotel and have another glass of wine (because we really needed just one more). Naturally, we bump into some guys we went to high school with and got caught up with them even though we were over an hour from where we grew up. Headed back and Leesh convinced me to rebound for night two (I only get a weekend like this a year, so I have to live it up right). Went out to dinner where my stomach still isn't feeling good (seriously, longest hangover I have ever had) and got ready for night two.
We met up with some of my ERAC girls and went to a club. I was one of 4 white girls there so I fit right in. Got to see a Dance Off and kept looking for Randy Jackson to see if he was dancing for America's Best Dance Crew but could not locate him. Evidently these guys were doing this dance off thing for fun. Hmmmm. I am out of it! Finished off a bottle of Grey Goose (between 5 of us girls. What, we couldn't waste!) and headed back.
Finished off the weekend with a nice healthy (read: high calorie) brunch at Sam's in Tiburon. Had a Bloody Mary or two there before my liver started to shut down. Finally got to see Kristin even though our time was too short. We began to talk about our next adventure, where we were going to go, what we are going to do, and when everybody is available to get together. We have an exciting year already (bachelorette party, showers, wedding) to make that many more memories.
I recently finished a book called "The Girls from Ames". It is a nonfiction book about 9 girls and how they have remained friends for 40 years. There is not a doubt in my mind that we will be there a few decades from now. We have dealt with each others first boyfriends, and first breakups, first loves, first marriages. We have dealt with pregnancy, heartache, illness and loss. Through it all, we have found the laughter that is the base of our friendship. I love my girls.

My Grandfather

On March 17, 2009 I lost one of the most influential and positive people in my life. My grandfather was an amazing man who was very sharp and self sufficient to the end. He had a heart of gold and a beautiful outlook on life. I got to speak to him every night on the phone and we would just talk about the mundane things like the weather, different sport scores, people in the family, etc. When I first moved away from the Bay to Eugene he was one of my first visitors. He rode on a plane to come see me, only the third one in his almost 90 years at this point. We spent many vacations with him in Lake Tahoe where he loved to go and stay out all night gambling. One of my favorite memories was him wheeling my drunk husband to the couch after my husband had one too many at the casinos (James was draped over my grandfather's walker while my grandfather pushed. It truly was a sight to see!). This past August, my grandfather, along with my cousin, my husband, and myself went to the casinos and ended up staying out all night when he hit a lucky machine. It was pure joy to see the look of happiness on his face. During that trip, he fell ill and found it hard to catch his breath. We thought that it may have been the altitude but it ended up that he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. This was really the beginning of the end. He lasted 7 more months and got to enjoy spinning around the neighborhood in his electric scooter and hanging out with the family during the holidays and his birthday but he did not feel good.
A few weeks before my birthday I got a call from him as usual just talking about our day. It was around 8pm. The next morning my mother called me to tell me that grandpa was sent to the hospital with chest pains. He was diagnosed with gallstones and operated on. He was in the hospital for over 4 weeks and never recovered.
On March 12th I received the phone call that I was dreading. It was time to go home and say goodbye to my grandfather. It was by far the most difficult trip I have ever taken. My sister called me up and tried to prepare me, but you are never prepared for anything like this. I walked into his big beautiful room and he immediately looked my way and said "Why hello Dollface". I broke down in tears, grabbed his hand and said some silent prayers. At that point, my parents and my aunts/uncles/majority of my cousins were out in the waiting room visiting with each other. It was my cousins Michael, Angeline and myself that were in there. Each of us were the oldest siblings in our families. It was very quiet and a little dark as we whispered to each other about how grandpa was doing. I quickly realized that his last moment was near and that I wanted him to go knowing how much I loved him and how much he meant to my life. We got to have a few little conversations and then I began asking him about my favorite stories (how he met my grandmother, the time he crashed a car at the age of 12 which caused him to never drive again, the time he threw a cat out a second story window...we loved his stories). I spent the night with him along with my Aunt Stella, my mother and my cousin Angeline. We had a little scare with my cousin Terra who was sent to the ER but that is a story for another day:). During the middle of the night I got onto my phone and tried to reach my cousin Matthew to make sure he knew how serious our grandfather was and wanted him to be able to talk to him. I sent a message to him on Facebook, and as luck would have it, he got the message right away and called us. He lives in Spain so contact is not always that easy. Matthew got to speak to my grandfather on the phone and he made reservations immediately to get home to see grandpa. Grandpa promised to hold on until he got there.
We all slept about 1 hour that night and was at my grandfathers bedside the entire time. At around 10am the visitors began to pour in. I can not even begin to tell you how much this man was loved. There literally was no room in that wing of the hospital to hold all of the visitors. All of his grandchildren, his daughters and son-in-laws, nieces, nephews, neighbors, etc were there. He loved having all of his visitors and talking to them about day to day stuff. There were almost times where I thought to myself "Is this really happening?" It was surreal. By 7pm fatigue began to hit big time and my grandfather, always concerned about others well being, asked that I go home with my father and get some rest. I was so scared to leave because I felt that if I was there, he would not go, but the family told me I needed to rest or else risk getting sick. I went back to my parents house (missing some Springer action when a nurse at the hospital made a heartless comment about my grandfather and my cousins stepped in) and slept a few hours and woke up to the phone ringing. My heart dropped to my stomach as I picked up the phone. It was my mom. She said she had a great time with her sisters at the hospital that night and grandpa had asked to celebrate St. Patricks Day early because he did not think he was going to make it to that day (It was March 14th). We gathered up decorations and hit the hospital for another day of visiting. We decorated his room with beads and st.paddy's decorations and began to visit with my grandfather and all of his visitors that came through again. My cousin's plane was coming in from Spain and he was scheduled to get into the hospital room by 4pm. My grandfather slept a lot more that day and his breaths became a lot more labored. We all prayed that he would hold on to see Matthew. Watching the clock was almost as agonizing as watching my grandfather. 4 o'clock hit and Matthew came in the door. He was so happy to see him and then he closed his eyes. Oh God, is this it? This can't be it. We all formed a circle around him, bawling like babies, saying personal prayers for a few minutes. Then grandpa opened his eyes and said "Wow, look at all of those beautiful faces". It was a humorous moment during a very tense time. We all broke away and began visiting with him and everybody else who was around. My cousin Alexia asked my grandfather how he was feeling. My grandfather replied "I feel beautiful, relaxed, well rested". It was a great moment. Later on that evening, my grandfather began to see things. I was sitting directly across from him when he looked out and said that he saw God. He had the most peaceful look on his face and we began to ask questions. At that exact moment, the window behind me whipped open and a huge gust of air hit me square on the back. I have never been so scarred in my life. My sister, my cousin Kristy and my cousin Sheila all looked at each other like "What the hell was that"? I swear if my grandfather had passed away at that exact moment I would have fainted right there. Alas, it was not that dramatic. Time went on and as the evening got later (and we had to endure being locked in my grandfathers room after a false fire alarm went off) my dad told me it was time to go. Again, I said my goodbyes, believing that he was not going to make it through the night. Again, it was not his time.
Sunday morning I woke up and my dad asked me to make reservations to head home. He believed that it was time to get back to my family as my husband had a huge business trip that just could not be missed. I refused to make the reservations until I went to see my grandfather. That day was a lot harder than the previous days. He was a lot more tired, slept more often and began to have coughing spasms. It began to be painful to watch though he swore to us that he was not in pain when we asked him. My dad made the reservations and my time was coming to a close. I honestly can not remember a time in my life where I cried harder or longer than on that day. This was it. No going back. I knew that this was officially my goodbye. I woke him up to say my farwell (may seem selfish, but I wanted him to know that I was leaving). He told me that he loved me, told me that I was a good mom and a good person and then asked if I needed help financially with my flight home. He was such a giving person. I left the hospital nearly hyperventilating (as I am doing now writing this) and went to the airport. I don't know if it was my lack of luggage, my tear streaked face, or my guardian angel but I was sent through special lines were there was no wait. I got home at midnight fearing the inevitable phone call.
The next day (March 16th) I did not receive such phone call. I received it at 8 am on Tuesday, March 17th. Though I was emotional, I did not reach the hysterics that I had expereinced on that Sunday saying goodbye. I like to think that I had finally made peace with his passing. I do know that those last 4 days played a huge part in my life and how I treat my life. He lived a wonderful life and now I truely believe he was finally at peace with my grandfather and his parents/siblings who had proceeded him in death. He also passed on the day that he had hoped.
Side note: For anybody else reading this, I appreciate it. I mainly did this post for myself so that I may remember those last 4 days while they are relatively fresh in my memory. Below is the Euglogy that my sister and I wrote a night before the Rosary. We read it at the Rosary as well as at the funeral. I hope that it adequatly describes that man that we loved so much.

EULOGY written and presented by myself and my sister.

Our Grandfather

To try to define our grandfather in just a few words is an impossible task. He was a beautiful, inspirational and loving man. He had an incredible heart that accepted everyone that was around him. Anybody who ever spent any time with him knows that he lit up a room with just his presense. No matter his age, he never lost his sense of humor. His laughter was contagious and his smile could melt hearts. He loved everybody and he was loved by all.

Our grandfather was a simple man. He never needed designer clothes or the newest toy. He just wanted his family and friends to have a good life and be worry free. He had so much love for others and he was so overwhelmingly loved by all. He was by far the most giving person that we have ever encountered into our lives. If he had a dollar and you were in trouble, he would give you 95 cents. That other nickle he would save in case you needed it down the road. His dream was to win the lottery one day, not for himself, but to make sure that his family was provided for. He would literally give you the jacket or sweater off his back no matter how cold it was outside. We know because he did this for us often. Having a person around him be uncomfortable was worse for him that he being cold.

He was fiercly dedicated to his family and friends. Anybody who knows him knows the story of his undying love for my grandmother that never wavered. He always spoke of his 3 girls and of his children and grandchildren. He was as much a part of our lives as our parents are. He came to see us off to prom and off to college. He was there for Sunday dinners where he got to know our future husbands and share stories of his childhood. He was there on our wedding days to give the most beautiful speech about love, dedication, perserverance and the ups and downs in a marriage. When we were in labor, he was right there in the waiting room, at times waiting all through the night. He was there when you needed a phone call and he was ALWAYS there if you needed to let off some steam and go to the casinos. He was there to evaluate the latest on American Idol or to give you sporting advice. We were so lucky because he was always there.

He was a grandfather to us, but he was a grandfather to all. His days as a crossing guard were some of the happiest times of his life. He loved all of the children and protected them as if they were his own. He would jump out in front of a car and blow his whistle to make sure all of the children were safe and he would make up songs on his whistle just to get smiles from all of the children. His dedication was even once featured on KTVU news on his impact for the school.

This is a person that will never be forgotten and forever loved. There are so many things to remember him by, and we recommend doing some of these things to keep his spirit alive:

- Tell everyone about your undying love for your wife

- Show a picture of yourself and tell the person you are showing it to not to faint after seeing how handsome you were

-Always bet the maximum on a slot machine. Search for a quarter if there are only 2 credits left because if you don't, that is when you will hit the jackpot

- Wash your hands before and after, and sometimes during a meal

- Check experiation dates on everything including can goods, vitamins and chips

-Make up words in foreign language and then make up what it means when your grandchildren ask.

- Stay up watching informercials and order what you see fit. Find the need for an ab roller, treadmill, electric broom or sandwich maker at the age of 85.

- Find a sweater that you love and wear it for 30 years.

- Call a daughter, granddaughter, niece or friend "dollface".

- Take public transportation.

-Take a spin on a scooter

- Start a story saying "I'm not B S ing you" and follow it with an embellished story

-Find the highest SPF lotion out there and put in on religiously (and make sure everyone around you has it on as well)

-Listen to spanish music on the radio even if you don't understand a word that they are saying

-Call your children and grandchildren, nieces and friends everynight to find out

-What they ate for dinner

-How the weather is in the town that they live in (even if it is a few blocks away)

- Who to vote for on American Idol

- Make sure that you are watching sports if American Idol was not on.

-Always satisfy your sweet tooth with crunch bars, almond rocha, butter cookies or rocky road ice cream.

- Tell your friends that they are family and tell strangers that they are friends

- Take a walk in your neighborhood and greet everyone you see.

-Trip your granddaughter with your cane in order to get an egg during the annual easter egg hunt

- Never leave home without your wet wipes and always offer them to those around.

First Born

I received this fun little questionaire on Facebook and decided to answer the questions to the best of my ability. It appears that most mothers want to sugar coat there pregnancies/first few months of being a parent to not project the apperance that they may not love their child more than humanly possible. I disagree with this theory (as you will see) and also call B.S. to anybody who finds pregnancy "glorious" or "amazing" and that the first few months "are the most precious times of your life". I am not completely heartless. I love a newborn as much as the next guy, but I seem to love them more when I am not dealing with the sleepless nights, explosive poop, dripping boobies and a sqeezy water bottle that you do not use for drinking (any mom who did not deliver by c-section should know what I am talking about, wink, wink....
Anyhoo, here is the questionairre that I filled out

Hey Mommies - About your firstborn....Share
Here you go mommies - a different kind of survey for a change - it's all about your first born! Just copy and paste it in a new note for yourself! Tag 10 mommies when you're finished.

Let's see how much you remember!

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? HAHAHA
2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? Define Married???

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? Tears, lots and lot of tears (of Joy of course!)
4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU? NO WAY!

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 23

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? Took a home pregnancy test.
7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? James and then Steph (well, I did not so much tell Steph, but she figured it out when I came out of the bathroom hyperventilating and crying... my tears of Joy!

8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? No Way!
9. DUE DATE? April 15, 2003

10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? Anybody who was around me during those 9 months of bliss knows that answer
11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? Not throwing up

12. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? People who told me that they loved being pregnant
13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX? A Girl

14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING? At first because I knew my husband (yes, we were married by the time I gave birth...stop doing the math!) wanted a namesake and I was determined never to do that again, but she was seriously the most beautiful baby I had ever seen
15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? NEXT!!!!

16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? Yes, a few
17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? I knew, and during the infamous Blackwood Baby Bash, I got to the be the designated driver to all my friends and my husband. It was such a special, special time.

18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY? Besides throwing up every 20 minutes, having my stomach acids burn a hole in my esophagus, retaining water so badly that I had cankles, it was very easy.
19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Alta Bates

20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOr? 28 and a half hours. Yes, that half hour counts
21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? James
22. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? My hubby, my mom, my sis, my mother in law. Kristin (my best friend) came in, but she lasted about 10 seconds.

23. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? NATURAL

24. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? Hell yeah I did. I made it known that day I found out that I was preggers that I was taking pain medicine. If it was morally ok to have an epidural for 9 months, I would have done it
27. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 7 lbs 8 oz

28. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN ? April 17, 2003
30. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Alyssa Lynn
31. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY? 6

Perez

So anybody who knows me, knows that I am completely addicted to celebrity blogger Perez Hilton. I usually start my mornings off with him (he is like my cup of coffee) and check in with him periodically through out the day. He is like a friend that I have never met or communicated with before. I know his likes and dislikes, his political views, sexual orientation, current crushes, etc. I know when he is traveling, when he is throwing a party, and after the party, who attended. I love the way he writes, his humor, and his special drawings. Like any friend, we have some tastes that are similar and some that are completely different. For instance, I mirror his feelings for Miley Cyrus. He can not stand her. I in turn, can not stand her. This can sometimes cause conflicting emotions in the Blackwood house seeing as I have a 5 year old little girl the completely idolizes her. For those who think that I am being a little harsh, let me point out some things about Ms. Cyrus:
1. She dresses like a slut. Now some may argue that most 15 year old girls dress a little slutty, but here is the difference. She is dressing for "her fans" which happen to be in the 5-9 age group. Having my daughter want to wear short dresses with knee high boots grinding on the table trying to copy her performance does not make me happy. Having to see her picture all over the place does not make me happy. She just does not make me happy.
2. She is a hypocrite. I could dedicate an entire blog about the hypocrisy of Miley Cyrus and her family but I will keep it short and to the point. In a news article I read in People Magazine (yes, I am obsessed with celebs, and no, I will not apologize for it) her mother was quoted as saying that she still gets grounded for not behaving and she only gets $300.00/month for allowance (pretty respectable considering she will soon be worth $1 billion dollars). I find this laughable as she is photographed riding a bike in Christian Louboutin Fringe Boots that retail for almost $2,000 (I may not be able to afford them, but I can spy Louboutin shoes a mile away). I don't know who came up with the brilliant plan to let some teenager ride around in these boots, but it pisses me off. If she were my daughter, I would have made her donate them to charity if she received them as a gift (or just wear them if they were my size. Just being a little honest here).
3. Her boyfriend should be considered a pedophile. If her parents were normal and like many parents out there, they would not allow there 15 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER dating a nearly 21 YEAR OLD MAN. It absolutely sickens me that nobody has looked into this and that they are so brazen about it. The are photographed everywhere together and and parents have gone on record about approving their "friendship". If my daughter even tries to date somebody nearing 21 years old at that age, he is going to be met with a restraining order at the door.
4. Her "Christian" beliefs. She talks about her Christianity being the foundation of her belief system, yet she poses provocatively, dresses slutty and dates 20 year olds. Nuff said. I would like a side note here as well that she has been photographed with her "friend" going into church. Both are wearing jeans and tank tops. I don't know where they were raised, but that is considered disrespectful in the church from where I come from.
Now, moving on, after my blood pressure has nearly topped the charts, to a person Perez and I differ in opinions. He loves Angelina Jolie. I hate Angelina Jolie. Her holier than thou persona just gets on my nerves. Her "perfect" family and "perfect" life just gets under my skin. I think that she is even a bigger liar than Miley. Here is my problem with her. She has 6 kids, with hopes for more. She is always just in "awe" of how amazing her children are. She travels the world with her children and plan on having more...way more! I would like her to walk in the shoes of a real parent for just one day and see what it is really like to be a mom. First off, there are no nannies. If you are planning an outing, plan on it taking at least 1 hour to actually get out of the house from the time that you begin trying. You will have to deal with dolls being left behind, getting into jackets, getting into the car, buckling everybody up, getting out of the car for the first bathroom break before leaving the driveway, undoing the jacket, cleaning up the accident because the first child did not give you enough notice that they need to get to the bathroom, changing clothes for the child who just wet himself meanwhile listening to the screams of the kids who are still in the car wanting to know what happened to you and needing snack/air/bathroom break. By the time you get out, you would have to put at least 3 if not 4 of your kids in a stroller (which means you would have to BEG somebody to go out with you in order to get out of the house and have them push the other stroller). By the time you get to the destination you have to change diapers, clean up mess in car, get drinks, get snacks and take the ones who are toilet trained to the bathroom. This is all before you go and do whatever it is that you needed to do. See my point. You never see her mentioning anything like that. EVER! Than she talks about how much her kids just LOVE to travel all around the world. I would like her to travel on a regular (non private) plane and see how much they LOVE to travel. I would like to see how she is going to entertain her kids who get antsy after 30 minutes asking how much longer until the get there, kicking the seat in front of them, needing bathroom breaks, having to change diapers while the person you do not know next to you looks on, meanwhile having 2, count them 2, nearly newborns screaming on the top of their lungs because their poor little eardrums are about to rupture and then trying to make bottles for them both. No, Angie, I do not envy your life! I do not care that you get to sleep next to Brad every night (who I am so OVER since he is a big, fat, CHEATER). I think that you are also a big hypocrite making everybody feel like sh*t because of all the "philanthropic" things that you do, yet, live in a $70 million mansion. It's their money. I get it. Spend it the way you want. Just don't make me feel bad because I did not donate to the 3 billion causes that she (or he) is constantly pushing down our throats.
So, in closing, if I ever become famous (I fully believe that this will happen in my lifetime) I only want to meet 2 people. The first is Britney. I have loved her since the beginning and nothing anybody says can make me change my mind. The second is Perez. I think that he is real, he is funny, and there is no way I ever would want to be on his bad side. If you have never checked him out, you must do so today. It is like you are supporting one of my closest friends, err, even though he has no idea who I am :)
www.perezhilton.com
http://m.perezhilton.com for all you mobile phone users.

Anniversary

James and I were able to celebrate our 6 year wedding anniversary yesterday with a babysitter and a quiet dinner out. This was an easy decision after last year's debacle of me spending the entire day doing a home cooked 5 course meal and having a formal dinner with the kids. Though last years dinner was very good (in my opinion at least), the kids whined the entire time through dinner that they did not like it. I had lit some candles to try to set the tone for the evening, but that tone was quickly changed by the kids singing "Happy Birthday to You" (with the cha cha cha's included) at the top of their lungs and continuously blowing out the candles. Obviously, candlelit formal dinners are not typical in the Blackwood household. So this year, James and I got a babysitter, kissed the kids, and tried a new restaurant that is not children friendly. The food was awesome and neither James or myself blew out the candles lit on our table (but I was kind of tempted to do so for some strange reason).
Our anniversary is usually followed by some sort of argument in The Blackwood household, and in all honesty, it is usually me starting the argument (ok, who are we joking, it is me that starts the argument 100% of the time). Our first anniversary I told James that we should not exchange presents so as to watch our money (the time of year is always difficult with the holidays so close, so this is the statement made every year). Right after making that statement, I ran out and bought him something nice (I do not remember what it was, but I am sure that it was nice). When it came time to exchange presents James gave me a beautiful detailed card (kudos for him checking out traditional 1st year presents and finding out that it is paper), and I gave him his present. He thanked me for his present and I burst into tears. James looked at me bewildered wondering why I was crying (I am definitely not the sentimental crying type of person!). Here is how the conversation went:
J: "What is wrong?"
S: "Nothing."
J: "I know that there is something wrong. You are crying."
S. "Nope, Nothing is wrong."
J: "Are you sure? You seem upset."
S: "I am upset. I am upset that you only bought me a card on our first year anniversary." There, I said it.
J: "But you told me that we were not exchanging. I thought that is what you said."
S: "That is what I said, but I meant nothing big, like a diamond ring. I did not mean anything at all."
J: "So why did you not say that?"
S: "Because I meant it and you should know what I meant!"
Note: I do not know why I do this to him. I think there is some female DNA thing that has to set up tests for a significant other in order for them to prove their love. I am not like this all of the time, at least, I don't think that I am.
So year #2 comes and we agree (again) not to exchange anything. This year, I did not buy him a thing since he had not purchased anything for me the year before. I must note that I was pregnant with my second at this time, so I was already a bit emotional. That year, James took me to a 5 star restaurant and gave me a beautiful piece of Tiffany's jewelry. He had also sent 1 dozen long stem roses to me at work and gave me a cotton cleaning cloth for my silver jewelry in honor of the cotton traditional present for the second year anniversary. Again, I burst into tears at the table. James looked incredulously at me and asked "Now what did I do wrong?"
S: "I thought that we agreed to not exchange presents. Now you have given me all these presents and I did not get anything for you".
J: "I do no need anything. I just want you to be happy"
S: "I am HAPPY. I would be HAPPIER if you had stuck to what we said and not given me anything!"
J: "But I did that last year and you were upset because I did not get you anything. What I am supposed to do?"
S: "Oh, just forget it"
**Please note, even I am shocked he has stuck with me this long.
So after 6 wedding anniversaries shared, we now have it nailed down. I got a beautiful pair of earrings that were expensive, but not too expensive that there will be nothing left for Christmas. James got nothing (as he requested). No tears, no arguments, just a good day.
Lastly I have a selfish reason for loving my anniversary so much. The time between November and April is really my favorite time of the year for one specific reason. People do not judge me when asking how long I have been married compared to the age of my daughter. For instance, right now, I would tell people that we have been married for 6 years and that my daughter is 5. This makes me look very respectable. I usually get the comments "Wow, you guys did not waste any time at all" in which I reply "Oh, you have no idea". They seem to figure it out a short time later when they ask when my oldest is turning a year older. Oh well. I had a few moments of no judgment. A wise woman once told me that the first pregnancies are always the shortest. How true it is.
So I will end on this note, I love my husband. I love everything about him. I love that he is successful and compassionate. I love that he loves me and all my faults. I love that he believes in me and that not a day goes by that he does not tell me that I am beautiful. I love that he will come home from working a 12 hour day and make dinner because I can't handle touching raw chicken. I love that he is an excellent father and a good person. I love that he kills spiders, deals with snakes, cleans the gutters, puts out the garbage and does all the gross stuff that is needed around the house. All in all, I fall in love with him more and more each day and feel honored that he chose me as his wife (even if he is not a mind reader!).